Are women really this disgusting?

Okay so the whole psychological breakdown is. Lost my virginity to a girl when I was 4 (she was 10). I grew up with a very smart, but very bitter and manipulative mother. My last 2 serious relationships I was cheated on. An I've been cheated on before so I'm sure I would've been able to get past it. If it weren't for the fact that they cheated on me with younger boys. I date my own age, this was 2 years ago when I was 18. When I was 18 she had with a 15 year old. When I was 17 (other serious relationship) she cheated on me with a 14 year old. An every movie I see it's older woman, younger BOY!. I feel so disgusted that this is accepted that I tried having with men. But I just couldn't stay hard an the only thing that got me going was the thought of a woman. An whenever I start to hit on someone the thoughts keep flashing in my face. An they see the look of disgust on my face an I blow it. I keep going back an even though everyone says it isn't my fault I still feel responsible. The first serious relationship was while we were in rehab. An we were the "It Couple", I got a job in the kitchen just to see her everyday. We wrote letters back an forth professing how much we loved each other. But then my friends tell me she got out (she didn't even tell me) an I hear from the locals. What she'd been doing, she came back soon after though. An when she thought no one else was around she would hang on the kid. Whisper in his ear an smile, then I would be told to get back in the kitchen. My friends kept telling me worse an worse stories. Whenever I'd confront her with them she'd say "your supposed to believe in me an no one else". So I did... turned my back on my friends an when I got discharged she dumped me. Then when I was eighteen took in my ex-friends' ex-girlfriend (he secretly always hated me) she had no where to stay. I took her in, spent almost every dime I had on her, got her a job, gave her affection without her needing to fish for it. Gave her her space whenever she wanted, an she used that time to cheat on me with the neighbor boy. I used to know love but when I think back I question everything. ( About my virginity it happened by accident, this girl named Joy. Wanted my older brother who was her age, but what she didn't know at the time was he was gay. We would sneak behind a fence covered in vines were she would give me a bj. An we would hump without or clothes on until one day she got wet an it slipped in. We had actual for a week after that her brothers threatened to beat me up if I told.) I know I must be at fault for something but honestly this is too much even if I was. If there's hope let me know I'm living life with no aim anymore, no purpose. I've long since known the cruelty of men (another story) so if women are really this tainted. Then whats the point of anything.